Lightroom: Is slow for me

Ok, before I begin my rant, here's my spec sheet...  

Mac Pro (Late 2013)
El Capitan v.10.11.6
3.5 GHz 6-Core Intel Xeon E5
16 GB 1866 MHz DDR3 ECC
DUAL AMD FirePro D500 3072 MB
256GB SSD Internal Drive
3x 512GB SSD Samsung Eternal Drives (non-RAID)  

I wanted to make sure it is already established that I am operating far beyond the "minimum system requirements". With these kinds of numbers, I should be able to manage the 3DFX for a motion feature film and not really skip a beat. I am a professional photographer and I shoot with full frame and medium format camera systems. Honestly, that is moot because I am seeing that bloody skinny wheel of death when dealing with the RAW files from both cameras.   So what's the solution to this? I dropped more than $5.5k on a new computer setup for the sole purpose of being able to streamline my photo selection/image management and editing process. Then I pay Adobe $30/mo for this software that is supposed to be the pinnacle of graphic processing and performance, and I get THIS piece of garbage. It's seriously got me wanting to chuck this Mac Pro from my loft window, but honestly I only have this issue with Lr CC. Every other software program that I run on this machine runs swimmingly, and Photoshop manages just fine for the most part - but LR crashes on me CONSTANTLY.  

Furthermore, I've already gone through all of the "optimizations" that the adobe developers seem to keep referencing. I increased my Camera Raw Cache settings to 15GB (and routinely dump the cache itself), minimized my image previews, turned off my OpenGL settings, and I am STILL getting that beach ball mockingly spinning in my face, maniacally laughing at my seemingly fruitless expenditure on a product that is supposed to be the flagship of creative programs.  

I want to know - where is Adobe's commitment to it's customers...?? Why is it that we can dutifully tender our hard earned money for a reliable program that, some of us, actually rely on for DAILY BUSINESS SOLUTIONS, and the best we get is a dinky one-page URL with apparently worthless "optimizations" to make LR CC run more smoothly? I'm sure if we all cancelled our subscriptions, they'd absolutely think of a more efficient and reliable software program to win back our faith - and do so QUICKLY. But because they're the Giant Corporation, it seems as though they really don't seem to think that they need to hold yourselves accountable to their consumers. It honestly seems like Adobe couldn't give 2kb worth of care to the people who actually CREATE THE FOUNDATION that you now stand upon!

Should I have opted for the $12,000 Mac Pro instead of the dinky $4,000 model? Should I sell my audi and build a 32-core super computer that can somehow make up for this blunted excuse for a tool you wonderful people at Adobe call Lightroom? I honestly need to know - what kind of machinery us users need to purchase in order to get this software to run smoothly so we can focus on getting our WORK DONE instead of having to quietly avoid panic attacks brought on by the sheer rage that bubbles up from the depths of our souls when we put this much valuable time and personal resources into a product which is clearly -  substandard. Tell me now so that I can look into selling one of my cameras that I need for my life blood just so I can reinvest it into a super-computer, if that's what's needed to get this program to run smoothly. At least then, you're actually setting proper expectations and people know what they're getting into.

Seriously. ANSWERS. ANYONE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I JUST NEED ANSWERS. Is there a hard copy of Lightroom I can download somewhere? There has to be a way around this. I'm at my wits' end.